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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27876729">Then And Now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanandsam/pseuds/deanandsam'>deanandsam</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen, tag to season six</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:42:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27876729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanandsam/pseuds/deanandsam</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's thoughts as he keeps vigil over Sam's body in the panic room at the end of season six. He thinks back on the things that have happened and compares this tragic moment to another in his past.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Sam and Dean Winchester Gen</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Then And Now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean's heart ached at the sight of his little brother's still form stretched out on the uncomfortably narrow cot at the center of Bobby's panic room.<br/>
The scene brought back unforgettable memories of that terrible day at Cold Oak when he'd held his dying brother in his arms, Sammy's mop-haired head flopping down like a ragdoll onto his shoulder.</p><p>In that heartrending moment, his distraught mind just couldn't accept that Sammy was dead, but even Dean Winchester, that most stubborn and iron-willed of men couldn't perform miracles when in an explosion of anguish, he came to realize that everything that had made Sam who he was, no longer inhabited his beloved brother's body. </p><p>His soul had been reaped and carried to some unknown destination, some far dimension completely out of Dean's reach; to a place that he couldn't attack or storm, conquer or infiltrate.</p><p>His little brother's essence had been torn from the lifeless body in his arms and all that remained for him was the contemplation of the rest of his lonely days on Earth as the last Winchester standing.</p><p>There had been only one way to join Sam and that was to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger, but Dean had made a different choice, choosing life for his sibling over a quick death for himself: although now, with his eyes fixed on the unconscious body of his little brother, seemingly so wan and lifeless, he wondered if he had indeed made the right choice back then.</p><p>If he'd gone with his initial instinct, he would've avoided so much suffering to himself, to Sam, and to others who had died through aiding or just simply being in proximity to the Winchesters.</p><p>There would have been no Hell for himself, no breaking of the first seal, no vessels for an Apocalypse that would never come to pass, and most of all, no one hundred and eighty years of torture in the Cage for his little brother.</p><p>When he had uttered the words "what's dead should stay dead" Dean would've been better taking his own advice.</p><p> </p><p>Moreover, if his life had ended along with that of Sammy's at Cold Oak, he'd not have had to witness the abject treachery of a so-called angel who had so callously betrayed the friendship that Dean Winchester had willingly bestowed on him.</p><p>Castiel had thrown it back in his face with the cruel and completely unnecessary shattering of Sam's wall; a wall put up by Death himself to give some semblance of a normal life to his unfortunate little brother.<br/>
Dean had never had anyone resembling a buddy outside of Sam who was best friend, brother, and soul-mate, all rolled into one, but he had cherished his rare affinity with Castiel.</p><p>He pulled his mind away from the two-fold horror that was Cold Oak and the breaking of Sam's wall and turned his mind to the best way of bringing down an enormously powerful angel who had now elevated himself to a God.</p><p>Castiel was convinced that what he'd done, swallowing down the Purgatory souls, was for the good of Heaven and Earth, but his behavior, in reality, seemed no different to that of the many petty tyrants scattered throughout the history of Earth who had used the words "for the greater good" as an excuse to seize power and wield it with an iron fist.</p><p>Dean sighed.</p><p>His energies were at their lowest. He didn't want to leave Sam alone, and yet the part of him that was liege to duty prodded and poked him into going after Castiel, in an impossible mission to try and stop an unstoppable god.</p><p> </p><p>He placed a gun and a note on the truckle bed next to Sam's head so that if ever his brother awoke he'd know where to find them.<br/>
Giving Sam's face one last gentle caress, he dragged his unwilling feet towards the exit.</p><p>He and Bobby hadn't a hope in hell of defeating Castiel but maybe the long-absent God of the Heavens would make himself heard and come and deliver his defenseless children, and Sammy, from this upstart wannabe-god.</p><p>The end</p>
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